Ah Sunday. The original day of rest, and rest I did. Well, kind of. Today I celebrated the upcoming marriage of my beautiful friend Carrie and her wonderful hubby-to-be Sam. It was a lovely bridal shower with delicious food, and to-die-for homemade Italian cookies. Amazing. I was gluttonous and ate WAY too much. I had decided to make today a rest day because I am starting a schedule my friend Leanna suggested last week, and it will start Monday. What I didn't plan is how much I would indulge and how guilty I would feel. I could probably run and work out forever, but I will never lose weight at this rate because my nutrition sucks. This is Trainer Jenny's biggest aggravation with me. I am getting stronger, but no thinner because I love food.
Now, saying I love food does not mean I spend everyday stuffing my face with anything available. I enjoy the flavors of good food, and really love carbs and dairy. That's my down fall. Delcicously prepared food is not always prepared by the most healthy means, and those calories, fat and carbs add up quick. I've got the focus and motivation to get my butt moving, now I need the conviction to change my eating habits. *sigh*
I know I'm not the only one with this issue. And then there is the problem with emotional eating. I do it, I'll admit it. Sometimes, food is just so comforting. And yes, I should go for a run or excercise to deal with emotional issues, but lets be honest, sometimes, you just don't want to. And those annoying people who say shit like "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" are assholes. First of all, I've been skinny, and lemme tell ya, there were something's that tasted so damn good, skinny didn't hold a candle to it. Yes, taste is temporary and lean and healthy are long term, but dammit, I'm human and never claimed to be perfect.
Rant aside, I do need to become more mindful of my food choices. But here's the thing, diets don't work. They are a waste of time, because you either become bored or discouraged, and then quit and gain the weight back. If I've learned one thing over the years of losing and gaining weight, it's that either way, it has to be a life style change, or you're doomed.
Now, please don't take me to be an extremist with life style changes. I live with one of those. My (awesome) roommate decided he was going to lose weight, and, being the genius he is, researched the science of metabolism and how food works in your body, etc., etc. He tries to explain it to me, but like most people, I glaze over and don't follow. He is extremely disciplined and doesn't mind the same bland food every day, and he cycles like a million miles a day. He's lost like 70 pounds, but seriously who has the time for that? And bland food every day!?! Former fat kid me will have none of that. I want flavor and happiness. I want to have a little love affair with my meals, and enjoy every bite, especially if I have to cut back on what I eat. If I'm cutting portion and calories, you bet your sweet ass I have to love every bite.
So what do I do now? I know weight watchers doesn't work for me. Super science bland diet won't cut it. And my food free for all is destroying my wardrobe, training or not. Do I drink the Kool-Aid and join the paleo cult, or start small with portion control and better choices?
I have 11 weeks until this half marathon, and about 9 weeks until my friend's wedding. I'm going stag, and would like to look fabulous when I do it (if I'm going alone, I need to own it, and being self conscious isn't owning it).
If anyone actually reads this and has any suggestions, I'm always up for advice. Otherwise, stayed tuned to see if I'm conquered by food, or prevail over the Yummy Monster ( that lil feeling you get when you justify stuffing your face with yumminess, even when you're not hungry or know you could make a better choice).