So this week is my 5th week of training, and while my blog posts may have been lacking as of late, I assure you my training has not; for the most part. Last week was hot and ridiculously humid. Just stepping outside left you feeling uncomfortable and made it hard to breathe; like sucking air through a wet rag. While this is typical for Buffalo summer weather, it makes running very unappealing. Tuesday was particularly gross out, so I headed to the gym with hopes of air conditioned space for my run. I was unpleasantly disappointed when I arrived at the gym only to realize that the humidity had seeped its way into building. Regardless, I hopped on a treadmill and started my run. I was drenched by the first mile, and my legs were not responding well to the unnatural cadence of the belt beneath my feet. By the second mile, I couldn't stand it anymore, and called it quits. I hate being a quitter. Lucky for me, Trainer Jenny was waiting to give my legs the beating they deserved. Not only did we have strength training in store, Trainer Jenny was feeling feisty and ended our session with sprints. Outside. So while my treadmill time was cut short, I did not lack in training that day. But the humidity would be sure to linger for the week, and set me up for the worst week of training yet.
Last week the weather wasn't my only compounding factor. I started classes again with what looks like my most intense semester yet. Not to mention an internship that will be starting next week. So now my schedule is all sorts of out of whack, and when planning this semester, I apparently did not factor in any time for sleep. My overnight shifts run into my morning classes, which will soon run into my internship, which in turn, takes me right into an overnight shift. The thought alone put my stress levels into overdrive. Now, I have always had two ways to deal with stress; eat and sleep. This new schedule allows very little time for either, and while sleep is great, eating the wrong foods can be detrimental. So now I need to refocus and find a better way......RUNNING! I know, ya saw that one coming didn't you?! Yes, running would be the best way to handle my stress, but is that the route I took last week?! No, of course not. Crap. I tried to blame the weather, but that only goes so far. So last week set me up for this nice little funk I am in today.
Yesterday, being a holiday, provided me an opportunity to pick up overtime on the ambulance, and get holiday pay out of it. I went in as usual on Sunday night, and tormented myself with a 24 hour shift that kept me until 6pm last night. I didn't run all weekend. By last night I felt awful about that, among other things happening in my lift. My great friend Shelley came by ready for out Wine-y Monday ritual. I was too worn out to cook, so we got pizza; something I hate myself today for. While the food choice wasn't the best, I cherish this Monday ritual because we sit and bitch and chat and laugh, and it makes the burdens in life seem less. But even with the wine and the laughs, something was still eating at me. We called the night early due to my impending morning class.
I woke this morning with a lump in my throat, and an uneasy feeling I just couldn't shake. I have no idea from what, but there it was, weighing me down. By half way through my class, it turned to an anxious feeling that was gnawing at me relentlessly. I came home an paced for a bit. To my delight, the humidity had broken and the temperature had settled to a cool high 60s. I knew what I needed to rid myself of this awful feeling. I laced up my shoes and leashed up the dog.
Let me tell you, even a short 3 mile run managed to make a world of difference.
With the music in my head phones playing idly in the background of my thoughts, I let my legs and the pavement sort out the mess in my head. The cool air and comfortable cadence of my stride made sense out of chaos, and put all my stress and worry into perspective. By the time the run was finished, even I was amazed at how much better I felt. I had a plan of action for things like school and work. I feel better prepared to dive in head first, and conquer this semester. It also made me realize how important it is to make time for myself, specifically time for my runs. In those miles and minutes, its just me; no texts or phone calls, no homework or readings, no worry or fear. There is just breathing and letting go. Now, if you're not a runner, you may never understand this. In that first mile, your head is a mess; a jumbled ball of thoughts. By the end, there's just quiet; peace.
Today made me realize that this half marathon training isn't just about pushing my body to the limits, or successfully completing a challenge. It's about finding a way to balance myself, and calm my mind. This is not just about getting physically healthy, it's about setting aside time to improve my mental health. Who knew running could do so much.
So, if you're like me, and find yourself in a hundred directions with your mind going a mile a minute, slap on those running shoes, and make time for yourself. Find some balance and give yourself a well deserved endorphin high. Because life gets rough, and sometimes, ya just gotta run through it.
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